Of course there’s more to my Honolulu adventures than just drunken luaus, but I’m fixated on beaches for the moment and want to fast-forward to Maui.   It might seem frenetically ADHD, but that’s caffeine addiction for you.

I met someone in Santa Fe who convinced me that that the only place to stay on Maui is the Ritz-Carlton Kapalua.  Ignoring the advice of my bank (what do you mean ‘I’m overdrawn?’  I still have checks left!), I booked a room.  Upon my arrival, I was greeted with a lei, yet another of those rum drinks and a tour of what the concierge called “paradise.”  Except for the cost, she was right:  This place is easily the most gorgeous resort I’ve ever seen; and in typical Ritz-Carlton fashion, they treated me like the King of England . . . or the Queen, depending on my bearing and mood on any given day.  I immersed myself into a wonderland of spa treatments, surfing lessons, fabulous dining and poolside drinks . . . until I realized they were actually charging me for all those things and tacking it on to my bill.  Announcing the price of things is apparently considered vulgar at the Ritz-Carlton, and the issue of payment is merely a formality, you see. 

 Yeah, right.  When I’d run out of money, I saw it was time to flee before the sheriff arrived.  Luckily, Maui abounds with beaches that mere mortals like me can actually afford, and some of my favorites are in nearby Lahaina.  I made a quick stop at their post office to make sure there were no “Wanted” posters with my likeness on them, then made a beeline for this quaint little surfing town.  Lahaina is a nice mix of tourists and locals, and the cult of surfing reigns supreme, as their beaches have consistently excellent conditions for it.  One of the interesting sites in town is this enormous banyan tree that takes up an entire city block.  Sounds kitschy, I know; but it’s really cool and you shouldn’t miss it if you go.   I also recommend stopping in at Cheeseburger in Paradise (don’t know if Jimmy Buffet is afilliated) for a meal and a drink.  You can have your cheeseburger and chat with the amiable bartenders while watching the surfers roll in. 

Another Maui beach town worth checking out is Paia.  It was initially recommended to me by the concierge at the Ritz, and I mistakenly thought she said “Paella.”  Hm, I thought.  How strange to have a town named after a Spanish dish.  They must have excellent shellfish. 

I don’t know if their shellfish is worthwhile or not, but Paia does have funky, eclectic vibe  and a nude beach — perfect if you’re on the lam, because everyone looks the same with their clothes off.  Lest you get the wrong idea, Paia’s beach is not as glamorous as the those in Kapalua, nor as exciting as the surfer-laden waters of Lahaina.  Instead, it has a certain grittiness to it, but in a good way.  The first person we saw there was what clued me in:  As we approached the water, along came a naked surfer covered in tattoos and smoking a joint.  Toto, we ain’t in Kansas anymore, I thought.  My kind of place.

 Thanks to Kju and Kylemahan for the photos!

Posted on November 18th, 2007 by Thomas
Filed under: Hawaii, Kapalua, Lahaina, Maui, Paia