I had the most surreal experience yesterday.   I sometimes forget my human limitations, and consequently have been known to overlook minor necessities such as sleep.  This happened recently, so I found myself dozing off as I rode a MUNI bus down Geary Avenue in San Francisco.  Off to dreamland I went, where I was transported to Hawaii, frolicking on the beach in Hilo , blissfully barefoot and carefree.  Then I was back in my recent home of New York . . . there I was on Fifth Avenue , making extravagant purchases at Bergdorfs and Cartier, then I was at Gracie Mansion hobnobbing with Michael Bloomberg, then up in a helicopter circling around the Statue of Liberty (just like the in the movies!), then . . . riding in a subway.  On a downtown 6 train, to be precise.   The next stop is . . . 59th Street.  Then a man’s voice:  Stand clear of the closing doors, please.  Gradually I came to, but the voices didn’t stop:  The next stop is Gough Street, said the woman.  Please exit through the rear doors, intoned the man.  I was discombobulated.  Emerging from a dream is always disorienting, particularly if you’re in a public place.  But something wasn’t right here.  Then it dawned on me:  The voices were the SAME. 

Yes, it’s true; and you heard it here first:  Both the male and female voices on San Francisco’s MUNI buses and on New York’s MTA subway cars are the same people!  I suppose this should be comforting in a way — you know, making you feel at home no matter where you are and all that — but I found it vaguely disturbing and. . . well, weird.  Who are these “voice” people anyway?  Do they have a majority ownership stake in both transit systems?  Do they have Ph.D’s in transportation technology?  Why are they so darned cheery all the time?  Do they ride for free?  Are they married to each other?  Do they live on the bus?  I had more sinister thoughts along the lines of mind control schemes and whatnot (those voices are very hypnotic, after all), but I wrote off that off as paranoia resulting from sleep deprivation. 

I still don’t trust those voices, though. 

Thanks to Hoary Head for the photo!

Posted on December 4th, 2007 by Thomas
Filed under: Uncategorized