I’ve seen a heck of a lot of bungled burglaries and robberies in my time. And almost every other day, some smart-aleck art thief comes up another new way to hit well guarded museums and art collections. But I’ve never seen anyone bungle a job as bad as 25 year old Richard Anthony Smith. Photo copyrights - Knoxville Museum of Art

The dickwad found himself stuck 45 feet down an air-conditioning shaft at the Knoxville  Museum of Art at 4.30 am on Wednesday, with no way out.  So he uses his cell phone to call 911 and ask for help. The police calls the Knoxville Fire Department, the firemen rescue him and hand him over to the cops. But wait, the best part is yet to come.

When the cops asked him what the heck he was doing down there, he says he’s a special agent with the United States Illuminati, badge number 0931. And that he was on emergency mission trying to get hold of a Soviet made warhead hidden inside a plastic cow sculpture in the basement of the museum. You can read the full details here.

All I gotta say is that they’re going to love him in prison. In more ways than one…

Since we’re on the subject, the New York Times has a cool listing of the latest exhibitions in museums and art galleries, mostly in Manhattan. If you’re thinking New York vacations with an artsy edge, this list might come in handy. Of course, if you want to hit the Museums and make off with the loot, you might want to use some proper travel planning tools to avoid Richard Anthony Smith’s fate. Or at the very least, have a plausible story which does not involve bombs inside plastic cows.

Posted on September 19th, 2008 by Thomas
Filed under: Art & Museums